Resolutions for Myself in the New Year


   Hey you, this year is going to be filled with lots of changes. You are aging out of your mom’s insurance (gotta pay those doctor bills yourself now!), you will be graduating law school, moving to a new city, and looking for your first big girl job. This new chapter is going to be pretty scary at first but I know that you can do it because you’ve made it through so many other crazy things in 2013. Keep being you but be the best you that you can be. Continue reading

Backfired Plans.

Have you ever apologized for something only because you expected the other person to say you didn’t need to apologize?

Yeah, it backfired on me. I’ve been struggling a lot lately at work. My health has been a rollercoaster since my car accident in October, my mood has been unpredictable due to the pain I have in my neck, back and reoccurring migraines, and well, my overall patience has disappeared. My life has been nothing but work and wedding planning, while I do enjoy both, can been very draining. There is not a lot of support in my division now that I am the “senior” attorney left due to a recent re-assignment of the former fourth in our division. I am supposed to be the one with everything together, ready to answer questions, always prepared, ready to go and the voice of reason. While I am always ready to go, I am still learning the ropes, and my physical therapy/treatment schedule makes it necessary for me to cut my schedule short two days a week, which I know others may think shows a lack of dedication, but – honestly – if I did not continue my treatment – my mood would be so much worse because my pain level is already just barely managed by these appointmentubls. I take care of my business. My clients are called, cases prepped, offers made. Yes, there is always more I could be doing but I do not believe in wasting time with busy work. I try to work smarter.

I love what I am doing. I love helping people. I get to help others through public defense work AND Beachbody coaching. Neither are going to make me a millionaire. Both have the potential, if I worked either in the right manner… but, honestly, I don’t know if I am willing to give up that much of myself to reach that level. One day, maybe I will be ready to make that commitment. I thought I was now. I thought I would be crazy goal oriented. I thought I wanted to be a politician and run for a state position as soon as I reached 30 years of age… starting my journey to making my name now through the legal community… yet, I’m learning that I do not want to work  people. I want to be myself and do not want to sell any image of who people want me to be, other than WHO I AM. And, quite frankly, I am still figuring out who I am.

Right now, I am a dog mom.

A lawyer.

A future wife.

A beachbody fitness coach. An aspiring writer.

A Christian. A daughter. A granddaughter. A sister.

An aunt. A niece.

Each day, I am working to improve my ability to serve each role to the best of my ability. Most importantly, I am making it a priority to put God first, my future husband second, and everything else will come after… something I struggle with daily. My selfishness and laziness gets in the way, way too much!

New Years Revelation

I’ve been thinking a lot about 2015. A lot of things have happened, good and bad; it will certainly be a year to remember. I left an unsatisfying job that was killing me slowly in civil litigation for my new career as an assistant public defender, moved into our first home, got Toby back to Florida, and best of all got engaged to the greatest man, ever! In all of these changes, though, I’ve let my health slip.

Looking forward to the new year and more exciting events, I want to ensure that I start taking better care of myself. Surrounding myself with people who are going to support my lifestyle change is the first step to being successful with this mission. Finding the fitness program is easy since I’m a Beachbody coach and have access to a multitude of programs to try depending on my goal for the day. Although for the next sixty days I intend to follow the new Hammer & Chisel training program with my test group. I’m terrified because it is not intended for beginners, and, while, I do not always see myself as a beginner, I have not done anything really strenuous over the last couple months with the move and holidays.

I do not support body-shaming, yet sometimes I have to admit to myself, especially after the holidays, that my body is not feeling right. I have gotten “fluffy” and let myself go by not paying attention to my nutrition, not getting in my 30-minutes or 10,000 steps a day plan. And, my health has deteriorated.

Each day is a new opportunity, though. Just as I’ve taken control of my finances, I am now going to take back control (for the -umpteenth time) of my health.

You better watch out… I’m going to be a smokin’ bride in September!

The Pressure Cooker.

Wedding Planning is not easy.

We are currently 391 days away from the wedding and for whatever reason I have this overwhelming pressure to get everything done right this minute. Realistically, I know we have time and that we should be enjoying the engagement instead of worrying about every little detail. Nonetheless, I am concerned that if we do not decide on all the big details now, something will slip through the cracks and become a huge issue down the road when we are both way too busy with school and/or work to deal with it.

Nonetheless, making all of these decisions so quickly is causing me to have severe anxiety over second guessing the decisions we have made. Like, did I pick the right dress? I didn’t have that this is definitely the one feeling, there were no tears, and now I’m not sure what it even means to “feel like a bride”. What if I picked the wrong one? It is only a dress, right? 

When should we start planning the bridal shower? When do save the dates go out? Shouldn’t we already have centerpieces picked out? I don’t even have a DJ yet… what about a theme? Everyone seems to have a theme! And, how the heck are we going to pay for all of this?!

So many questions left and only 391 days to answer them all…

you obviously see my dilemma here!

Getting an STD You Actually Want.

The first time someone asked me if I had gotten my STDs yet, I looked at them like they were mental. Why would I want to get an STD? And why were they so nonchalantly discussing STDs in public? Thanks to the Google, I quickly saved myself from embarrassment and learned that STD in the world of wedding lingo meant Save The Dates because saying the actual words was apparently too exhausting and needed to be shortened.

As of Wednesday, I can proudly announce that the fiance and I selected our STD. We should be receiving them within a week and I have the lovely task of addressing each one to send out to our guest list. YAY! This whole “getting married” thing is starting to get real.

On Sunday, MIL and the SIL (mother-in-law, sister-in-law) and I are going on our first ever dress shopping extravaganza and I am terrified/excited/ready to cry. This is all getting so real. I know we are way ahead of the ball game – we are 400 days away from the date as of today, but it still feels like we have no time since we’re both going to be so busy once I start back working on Monday and he starts full-steam ahead with school/internship/and teaching. It’s crazy how much stuff there is to get done! Yet, once we have the bridal party in place I will start delegating like a CHAMP and use all my years of watching “Say Yes to the Dress”, “Wedding Story”, and “Bridezilla” to my advantage.

I do not see myself as your typical over the top bride who has dreamed of this day since she was a little girl… I really have not. I honestly have no idea what I want my wedding to look like, yet I’m told that once I start planning, I’ll know. So, let’s hope it comes to me. All I hope is that my dream is cheap because Lord knows money isn’t going to come to me in a dream.

What advice would you give me (or any new bride) as I start this planning journey?

The Murphy and AB Merger: What We’ve Learned about Engagement Photos

One would think you wouldn’t think it was a good idea to try something new on the day of a big photo shoot, right?

I missed that memo.

Let’s start at the beginning…

Photo Credit: J. Jane Photography

Photo Credit: J. Jane Photography

We both live in different states and knew we probably would not see each other for an extended period of time until Christmas, so we decided to schedule our engagement photos during my vacation at the end of July (aka last week…aka three weeks after we got engaged). We had no idea what poses we wanted to do, no idea what outfits to select, and absolutely no idea where to start on the photographer search. So, we relied on friends.

Luckily, we found a great photographer – who once we met her turned out to be an old church friend of my fiance!

On the day of the shoot, I thought it would be a great idea to attempt to curl my hair. I am not a very coordinated person, nor am I gifted in the art of hairstyling. Yet, when we walked out the door and after a can of hairspray, my hair looked good. Nonetheless, when you take photos on the top of a mountain…on a windy day… with temperatures in the nineties, your hair tends to fall flat. Why did no one tell me this?!

All in all the photos turned out well, regardless of my wild hair, thanks to our photographer’s direction and keen eye.

My advice to others would be:

  1. Find a photographer you are comfortable with because our ability to joke around with ours made the session so much more relaxed and allowed our awkward poses to go more smoothly.
  2. Do NOT try new hairstyles the day or days leading up to the shoot.
  3. Dress to your style as a couple don’t try to be who you’ve seen on Pinterest, be yourselves!
  4. Start early so you can re-do the photos, if necessary.
  5. Do NOT try to be matchy-matchy everyone gets that you are a couple, you don’t need to throw it in their faces with matching outfits.

What advice would you add to this list regarding engagement photos? Are you planning a wedding? How’s it going?

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