Have you ever sat down and tried to talk to God? Not rattling off a prayer you learned in kindergarten but really sitting down and talking to God? Continue reading
Time flies—no matter how cliché—it does, and if you don’t stop and take a look around you might lose sight of who you are and who you want to be. Continue reading
My life is a wreck. My ability to get out of bed each day has slowly been deteriorating since school’s start. Life seems pointless. I don’t mean being alive is pointless, but living. Why am I trying? What am I working towards? This was the one relationship where I did not base my future goals on the person I was with, we both lived our lives and knew what we wanted and were just doing it together. Yet, for whatever reason, since everything ended I’ve lost my drive. Continue reading
Make sure that your friends know your goals in LS and know theirs. If you are hanging out with a group that goes out a lot and you like to stay in and study, well, it will not end well. Find friends that have similar study habits or interest in activities and you will be more likely to form a viable study group. Continue reading
Sometimes I wish I could show people how much the pressure I feel affects me. Slowly the water is churning and I’m drowning… no rescue in sight…
The pressure to be perfect is sickening. My family holds me on a pedestal so I cannot imagine complaining to them. Being the first to go to college, graduate school and now law school… there’s a lot of pressure for me to be successful. Partly because the loan payments are going to be outrageous!
Looking back, I should be proud. Yet, what I feel is not pride or accomplishment–I only feel anger and regret.
I’m angry because I couldn’t have a normal college experience. To afford the tuition at my college (even though it wasn’t much) and my living expenses, I had to work 40-60 hours a week–never holding less than two jobs at a time. And, somehow, I was still barely able to make ends meet. I couldn’t study for six or more hours a day like my classmates because I was usually at work or sleeping from exhaustion. Okay, some of those hours were spent Facebook creeping, but that is part of college…right?
I regret my past because I feel I was limited. I believe that had I not had to work so hard to keep my head above water that I could have achieved a higher GPA, I could have afforded to take the $3000 LSAT prep class, I could have afforded to get above a 162 and get into the school of my dreams. I was robbed of the experience I could have had because of my circumstances. Yes, I may have graduated with an honors diploma but I didn’t get cum laude or summa cum laude, not because my ability or knowledge was lacking, but because I lacked to necessary preparation time. Where was that factored into my GPA?
Who do I blame, though? Do I blame my classmates who have parents who were able to fund their education? Do I blame the university for not thinking I was needy enough? Honestly, why did it seem my friends who were on “full scholarship” had parents with limitless bank accounts?
I may be angry and regret a lot about where I am now, but truth be told it could have been a lot worse. I may hate that I had to work 40+ hours in high school and college, but how many 25 year olds have almost 10 years of managing experience? I may hate that I couldn’t take the LSAT prep class to get into a Top Ten law school, but then I wouldn’t have come to Stetson.
I do believe that the system we have in place is not fair, but I am unsure whether it is should be equal. Having to work for my education has made me appreciate it even more. When I received my blue diploma holder in 2010 (and again in 2011) I knew that it signified more than me completing a set number of credits in four (five) years–it signified twenty-two years of blood, sweat and tears that went into working long hours by my mother and then by me to make this dream a reality.
My mom said something when I was young and it has stuck with me every time I hit a rough patch,
“Girls, this article says that kids with divorced parents don’t do as well in school as kids with two parents. Well, I don’t believe that–you can prove them wrong.”