Walking away from my old life seemed like a monstrous task. Honestly, I did not think I could change. I did not believe that my past could ever stay my past. I thought that I was too hurt—too damaged—to move … Continue reading
Check out the new blog design!? I want to take a moment and thank Melissa from Cherry On Top Blog Designs for the layout!
If your site needs a revamp, check her out! My redesign wasn’t supposed to start until April 1st… she got started early (as you can tell!) and the process was !
What do you think about the new design?
How Do You Define You?
Life is a silly, fragile thing. It is affected greatly by the slightest change–one moment can change it forever. No one knows what that moment will be, or when it will occur but it does. Many of these moments occur throughout a lifetime, and many pass without us noticing or realizing its impact. For me, I have had many, I am sure. Yet, some resonate in my mind…and heart… more than others. The farthest back that I remember is when I ended my nearly five-year long relationship. I didn’t realize I was going to do it, I didn’t have it planned out. I just suddenly found my strength. The strength was there all along, I never needed it more. That moment–that one moment of discovery–I had no idea that in that moment my life would change so drastically. Were it not for me finding my own strength at that moment at that exact point in my life, I do not know if I would be exactly where I am right now.
Another moment, more recent, was the moment that I felt my inner strength again. This time it happened while I was attending a church service. I had been going for the past couple months and trying to reconnect and replenish my fait; yet, I never felt truly connected. I was allowing my past sins to keep me away. Without thinking, I felt compelled to raise my hand and recommit myself to Jesus when the pastor welcomed those who wanted to recommit themselves to God to come forward.
For those of you who know me, this may come across as corny or stupid–I’m not sure–but it is real. I really cannot explain the overwhelming feeling that I had in that moment. Again, one moment, one decision, and my life will forever be changed.
While watching “Teen Mom 2″ on MTV, I realized that those girls each had one moment that changed their lives forever. No one expects anything bad to happen to them, and when it does they act surprised. Nonetheless, they were present in that moment, they knew the consequences and they still went through with it. I am blessed that I have never had to face the reality of that one moment’s decision, but these young girls do. None of them seem prepared. They’re children themselves! It is just so unbelievable to think about. One second. One decision. And everything is different. There is no undoing what was done. There is no turning back. Yet, the reaction that we have to those moments are going to be what define us in the end.
My life has been far from perfect, but I can tell you that in the last year my life has improved greatly because I finally reacted to my “moments” correctly. I decided that I was no longer going to allow past “moments” define my life. I was going to make each and every moment from that point forward count. It is true that our past changes our lives and it can define our future, if you allow it. I have chosen not to let my past define me anymore, because that only led to self-loathing (not too much fun). I decided to take action and make sure that my next “moments” are good moments (i.e. graduation, law school)
The important thing to remember out of this rambling is that you have the power to change the course of your life. Yes, there are certain things that cannot be undone or just “forgotten” but you can choose to move forward and improve your life. For me that involved going back to Church and God… that may not be the same for you, but we all have something that helps us feel more alive–more valuable– and my hope for you is that you can find it, too.
In honor of the one-year anniversary of my return to God and relationship with Him, I have decided to take a look back at my posts from that time. One Tuesday (my “official” anniversary) I hope to reflect on my … Continue reading
I’m struggling a lot this week with friendships. Okay, maybe I am not the most personable person. I’ll win no awards for being the best friend. I may not like hanging out with others at all times. However, after attending … Continue reading